Saturday, August 20, 2005

Good day!

so i have this friend D, from south africa. what can i say besides that fact that i must marry someone from there!! haha i absolutely adore their accents!!! haha i keep telling her that i'm going to record her and then just play it over and over and over again! hehe

so, how's everyone doing! i've been enjoying myself as i'm reading everyone else's blogs. keeks, leah, drew, 'vees' and angie. it's so great! isn't this fun?!?!

i'm pumped that my mim is able to write me too. mim, i love you so much! i'm excited that yo're getting better at this whole 'computer thing'. hehe!!

i'm in the prayer room right now, and it's one of the best sets that i've heard in a while, besides misty's sets every friday that blow me away!! WOW!!! i'm taking a while to actually write this out 'cause i keep getting distracted.

i'm reading a really good book, "Deep unto Deep" by Dana Candler. it's really really good. here's a few snipets from it.

"Our great invitation is to spread wide our arms in a voluntary freefall- into the Ocean of God Himself. Every moment of every season has been lovingly designed and brilliantly arranged to bring us into the fullness of His love. Still we find ourselves in such dry times of barren prayer, feeling that God is distant from us. Yet even these times are given of God to enlarge our hearts in communion with Him. As we journey from one discovery of the Man Christ Jesus to the next, deep unto deep, we find the richness of intimacy that we were MADE for."

"He placed me on the earth on the day of my birth and said, "Now that portion of my heart may live in time and space. Now that mystery of My personality may have reflection and image.""

"He knows my frame. He loves the way He made me and does not desire in any way to contradict it but only to enhance it, beautify it and strengthen it. "

This book has just been showing me who I am to Jesus, along w/ the book of Song of Solomon.
i long for these truths to be engrained w/in my heart, never to be lost. and what will drive me to an even deeper pursuit of who He is, and from that find who I am in His eyes.

He's also been speaking to me about little props that i have in my life. those things that become little 'gods' in my life. where i'm trying to fulfill something w/in myself. it's God. i NEED God. but i find myself putting friends, ministry, food, good things in that place, yet still never really being satisfied, why? 'cause i'm trying to fulfill a place that ONLY GOD CAN FILL!!!

it's crazy to look at my life and to realize we do this in such subtle ways. well...i feel God wanting me to spend time w/ Him, but i'll just do it later, and hang w/ people now. but the awesome thing is that I don't need a person to 'counsel' me in this. i have the Holy Spirit. what better of a counselor to have?? He's showing me as well, that w/ all of these realizations, that freedom is only a prayer away. and to go to people for help and lift it up to Him.

the reason why it's so hard to go for prayer, is bc the enemy has put these little businesses in our way of truly being free and getting more of God. we're believing the lies and allowing ourselves to be hindered. Well...God wants all that hinders love Gone!!! so He's going to do whatever it takes!!! i love Him for this! WE NEED TO BE SHAKEN!!! HE NEEDS TO WAKE US UP!!!! it's so good and i'm in this place of just saying, come and wash me clean. TAKE IT ALL. no more dancing around the issues that are holding me back from getting more of you!

a crazy saying but so awesome, is that the only safe place is in the whirlwind. haha how does that work? well...God is that whirlwind, He's a crazy God! haha yet i can have 100% safety when w/ Him. He makes me lie down in green pastures. There, in Him, I have true rest and safety, yet it's a total adventure and may be scary like a whirlwind!

the scripture that's been highlighted to me recently is Phil 1:9-11.

"And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God."

the major part of being w/out offense until the day of Christ! what does that mean! wow! that i may agree w/ Him, in ALL things. HE's the perfect leader, i must trust Him and His decisions. that i would be in love w/ Him and love how all of His ways!

last night at misty's set i wrote down some lyrics that really hit me.
Lord, we want a raging loyalty.
What would i give for love?
May i utterly dispise all besides Your love. Nothing satisfies like You.
Baptize our hearts with fire, DESIRE!!
Because I don't wanna be offended when it's all coming down!
May we be w/ You where You are.
Set Your seal upon our hearts.
Fan the flame w/in.
Our righteousness is like a filthy rag, we can't do it on our own!

i love all of these 'cause it's the prayer of my heart! i want to encourage everyone to take some of these and pray them! it's already changed me!

thank you so much for all the encouraging convos and words. your prayers and the grace of God is how i get by. it's so amazing to know that there are people all over, speaking to God. knowing that He's so personal and so near! i long for a deeper love of God so i can in turn love you like He does!!!

be blessed,
kel

howdy,

just a quick hola.
i'm chillin at fsm before service.

this week has been swell! i've had the majority of it off, wednesday, thursday, and today. AWESOME!! it's been fun swimming everyday, hangin w/ the roomies, and shopping a bit.

i'm so excited that Jocelyn is finally back for good. she was home for a bit, but is BACK!!! yipee!!
praise the Lord her and Ian are fine after their crazy car accident. it literally was God that they're not dead or majorly hurt.

i gg, but i'll be writing more in the next few days!

peace out,
keldog

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

hey ohhh!!!

well, some suprising things have happened to me in the past few days.

first, i found another ewww word. plentitude!!!! EWWWWW

second, we're digging deep into Song of Solomon this week. it's literally an INTENSIVE and i'm getting a whole new perspective of who i am and who God is to me. He's just really getting rid of all the things that i've placed in my life that hinder love and shaking literally all that can be shaken w/in me to make me fully His!! IT'S BLOWING ME AWAY!! also, we got this afternoon off 'cause our speaker's bday is today and he's getting sick. so that's such a blessing!

thirdly, a few days ago i felt led to try out once again to sing in the actual house. so on monday ben, alex, kaitlyn and i tried out. there were only like 10 people there, so i don' t know if that was more nerveracking or not. but anywho, it was just cool, 'cause afterwards i didn't care really how i did. i knew that i did my best(under pressure) and that's all i could do.

well, yesterday i got an email saying that i was accepted to sing in the house!!! whoop whoop!! i was blown away!!!!!! for sure taken off guard and really excited! and all i could say and think was, are you serious God?? haha THANK YOU JESUS! what a cool opportunity!

and fourthly, i got a little package from the mim, thanks mimmy, and there was an envelope in there from my landlords. totally forgetting that i would get my security deposit back, i opened it up and found a honkin check! i was like WHAT?!?!?! wow! praise the Lord.

haha so it's just been cool these past few days.

i have worship practice soon and then hopefully a most needed trip to wally world!

i hope everyone is doing well. thank you so much for writing me back and for your prayers!! it means more than you know!

be blessed and may God rock your socks off!!
keldoggio

Woah!! look at D's fro!!

Haha. Models? Left to Right:
Amy, Bethany, & Natasha

Is this real bowling?

My, what big eyes you have!

Havviks and I at Buca di Beppos




Sunday, August 14, 2005

Word up!

speaking of word. i've found another word that is an 'ewww' in my book: quietude. EWWWWW

i've now found a wonderful expression for all of this, thanks to my chum Fran. i am once again 'barfing on my blog'. haha so i hope you all enjoy my 'barf'. hahaha whatever!!!

busy is my middle name apparently. haha i've been blasted w/ busieness, yet i'm so peaceful and resting in God. it's kind of an odd thing.

well...let's see...i was finally able to sit down and have a date on the phone w/ leah on thursday. it was ohh so great to talk w/ you girl. can't wait for our next one this week.

i have to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to drewdog! althogh i wasn't able to celebrate, i'm sure you had a good one man! you're gettin up there now. the big 2-3!!!

i also had a BLAST w/ the haaviks. it was so amazing to spend time w/ them. to see family again. what a relief. haha they blessed me w/ their time and their presence. i'm glad that they were able to come check out IHOP and get a feel for what i'm doing. we hung out the past few days around kansas and missouri. finding some really cool places to eat and get lost frequently. buca di beppos in the plaza, and the elephant bar in kansas. thanks for the great time!! bless you all. i love you!!!!

misty's set on friday was extravagent. i basically have no words. WOW!!! chuck so nicely put it, "that was like an end times opera" haha it was for sure rockin!

yesterday, saturday, we're supposed to have class from 9:30-12 and then 4 hours in the prayer room following. haha class was getting us all pumped up to search out the beauty of God in Revelations 4 &5 and then they throw a curve at us.
"we're going to take you all out to chipotle for lunch and then go bowling!!" haha bitter sweet!
we're like," YES, wait...NO!!! we want to be in the prayer room. no, we want to go eat!" haha it was funny.
so we had a blast eating out and bowling. i'll try to put some pics up for ya'll.

okay kelly, what is God doing? well....A LOT!

i don't really know how to articulate it all, but here it goes.
recently we've been really called to meditation. not weird, mystical stuff, just taking a verse of scripture, and contemplating on it for hours. let's say, this is the hardest thing ever. suddenly, you're thinking of all the things you have to do, and your mind can't just 'be still'. yet, after getting all that out of your way, the revelation that God gives you irreplaceable!

the verses that i've been chewing on are:
Ps 145:18 "The Lord is near to all who call upon Him"
Proverbs 2:1 "My son, if you receive my words, and treasure my commands within you"
Ps 23:1 "The Lord is my shepherd"

let's just say that God has been showing me that i don't really know how to receive from Him. His love, His grace, His cross. this is pretty vulnerable for me, but i know that the more i say it, write it and get it out, the more freeing it is.
what does it mean to recieve? chew on this.
do i really allow God to lavish His love upon me even when i've done something wrong? or do i allow my shame and the lies to overcome me and think that what He's done on the cross isn't enough to cover my failings?
am i mocking the cross by not allowing myself to receive? REALLY??!!!

The fact that HE is near, blows me out of the water. talk about living in the good fear of the Lord. HE IS NEAR!!!! where can i go from Him? Ps 139:7 He is NOT A FAR OFF GOD! HE IS NEAR!!!!

We're beginning our 4 day Song of Solomon Intensive as of today. even more of a wow!! i know that IHOP gets a lot of bad rap for being 'off the wall', 'weird', 'too into song of songs'. but...this book will revolutionize you. i'm not affraid to say this either. 'cause it's happening to me.

we need to discover that this is an absolute neccessity for what we are to be facing in the time to come! We need to look at this as a God given escort through our lives. All that happens in this book isn't just for married people. this is between God and us(His bride).

The best way i've heard this discribed to me is in a little story.
imagine a pregnant woman. she's soon to give birth and is going to birthing classes. they have her husband massage her for a while to relax her. Then they have the mothers pick up some ice and hold in their hands. Soon the pain increases. The women begin to get tense. The husband now begins to massage the wife once again, and is reminding her of his love for her. At this point in time, what will get the wife through the pain, is this very love of her husband.

There are going to be times that we're facing that are going to be the worst cases of pain, persecution, tribulation, and troubled times. The ONLY thing that will get us through is the love and the romance of JESUS!!!! HE'S IN LOVE w/ US!! This will be CRUCIAL in the times to come, but as for now, it is as much a neccessity. We have to get this! it's like the 10 virgins awaiting the bridegroom. will our lamps be full or empty???

so....now that i've officially 'barfed' on you. how does it feel? haha i'm just letting you all know that i'm juggling through all of this along w/ you. that's the only reason why i'm writing this. it's ohhh sooo goood. and i want it, i NEED it to become reality w/in me!!!!

i love you all!! be blessed, and drop me a line!
peace out,
keldog

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

yo yo yo,
this is just another quick hello.
i'm excited for tonight. we have our internship prayer meeting from 8-10. it should be really good!
i'm super duper excited as well to see pc, sally and the girls. it'll be great!

ohhh my goodness. let's all clap our hands and give a standing O!! i talked to Jordan finally today!!! praise the Lord. haha i'm thrilled that we were able to catch up.

i do have to say that last night was hard for me. i was looking at the collage that i made of pics of all you lovely people, and i got a bit overwealmed. w/ love yes, but w/ the fact that i don't get to see you all every day and that's hard. you don't realize how much people mean to you until you're not around them all the time.

i guess i'm discovering that God has placed me here to show me that HE IS MY FRIEND. that even amongst many people, i sometimes feel alone, and that's okay. He's shaping my heart to long for Him and only Him, and it's just in that weird, i don't know how to react state. not that i don't completely love everyone that's here, it's just different. it's ohhh so good, and yet ohh so hard.

He's for sure allowing all things that hinder me and get in the way of me loving Him to be taken away from me. wow. ouch. but yes!

haha, one more thing. i'm laughing 'cause for the 1st time since i've been here, i finally got the realization that i'm at the International House of Prayer! haha well...yeah...duh, but it just hit me. what i've been praying about doing and just trusting in God for, i'm doing it!! WOW!!! that's incredible. haha thanks for bearing w/ my AMAZING REVELATION!!!!

. hope to hear from you all soon.
let me know how you're all doing.
BE BLESSED!!

byebye,
kelly

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

hello!
just a quick hola. i'm just chillin in the prayer room before bed. i was up at an amazing time this morning, 5:45 AM!!! ouch! yeah, so i'm a wee bit loopy as of now.

today went really well. cleaned and chilled in the prayer room all day. what revelations God is throwing at me, and yet i haven't even begun to truly 'dig'. wow.

burn class was great tonight as usual. it was great to hear corey's driving force for us to have the word of God read us, instead of us governing over it. aka it's God's invitation to talk w/ us. He wants us to simply sit at His feet and listen, like Mary of Bethany. what an amazing realization.

Let the Word read me??? be still, and know that I am God Psalm 46:10

through these quiet encounters, we'll become more intimate w/ the Heart of God and truly know who He is. YES! this is what i need. and what i desire.

more on that later. i just have it resinating in me right now. i just wanted you all to know that God ruined me today. haha in a good way for those of you who were a little worried.

psalm 145:18 The Lord is near to all who call upon Him
HE IS NEAR!!!! the untangable God is NEAR??? why? HE wants to be near to us. His nearness= His love, His mercy, His grace, His desire to commune w/ us. YEAHHHHH... it's so crazy and it blows my mind, and yet this is just the beginning i know.

well, just a bit for you all to chew on w/ me! haha i thought it would be fun!
goodnight,
lots-o-love,
kel

Sunday, August 07, 2005

LIVE A LIFE OF ACCESS!!

Hey all!

this has been the theme in my life lately. live a life of access to the Holy Spirit.
the very way that we tend to live, is to have a place for God, and go on our own all the other times. this allows the Holy Spirit less access to our lives. what if we lived a life of access?? how would our conversations be different? how would we act differently? that's powerful!

My week here has been amazing. God, like usual is changing me. i love it! i love it! i love it!
Apart from Jesus, I'm learning that we have NO HOPE!!! I NEED HIM SO BADLY!!!

Jesus came that we might know God. He helps us in the knowledge of God.

Do i know how out of reach my actual thoughts of God are?
They're infinitely out of reach. HE is the unknowable God, who has no beginning and no end, except through Jesus!!!
Through Jesus (the image of the invisible God), we see who HE is and can touch Him, and behold His beauty.

Is the frustration of knocking, and seeking, praying, fasting and all the work worth the wait? Is is really worth just one glimpse of Him?
like John had in Revelations after seeking God for years, or Daniel knocking and pursuing Him for years? Is it worth it?

I'm finding that the more i pursue and the more that i seek, the harder i start to knock.
I MUST SEE HIM!!!!

what are we giving our lives to? the pursuit of His beauty and knowledge of Him or something less?
it's NECCESARY to pursue the beauty of God, to contend, labor, and fight for it!

it's crazy to think that we're called to a life of knocking and seeking.
I want to be consumed w/ pursuit!! it's so painful and hard, yet it's SO RIGHT!!
In this, we'll become lost in prayer!!! it's enjoyable for once?!?!?!? YES!!!!!!

i hope everyone is doing well. i'm bound and determined to get a hold of Mrs. Joseph! HAHA jorge, we'll talk soon.
i'm also so very pumped to know that Chuck(PC), Sally and the girls are all coming to visit next week and then some other peeps coming for visitors weekend after that!! yipee!! my family!!! haha how great to see familiar faces from DA'LUTH!!!

i love you all,
kel-miester-flash!

God, shining like the sun!
He loves to reveal Himself to me through the sky!
AMAZING IS OUR GOD!!!

This is a crappy pic of the FSM building where
we have services Fri, Sat, & Sun.

Here's our cafeteria, yummy.

Another bad pic of FSM.
I also clean this place for my job! whoop whoop!

D, Franie, and I being goofy.

Maroline? Is that you?

Squeeze in!!!

Da boyz

Beautiful fountain at The Plaza


I'm a little slow w/ pics, but about 2 weeks ago, a bunch of us(25ish) went out to the plaza. what a blast! we all got schnazzy and went out and about. Enjoy the pics!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

love is agreement!

this is what i was blasted w/ last night from burn class.

we think that sounds truthful, but do we really believe it. i found myself balling my eyes out because of past things that have allowed me to have false ideas of who God is. i wasn't, in my heart, agreeing w/ Him when He said in scripture that He IS love, He IS trustworthy, He IS compassionate, etc.

I wasn't agreeing w/ Him because whenever a particular situation would occur, i would believe lies over who He's said He is.

let's say someone leaves you, well subcontiously you place those feelings of hurt on God. He leaves me all the time, i can't feel Him always, everyone will always leave me because You allowed this to happen God, you don't love me i guess. this is true w/ so many situations in our everyday lives. and they are lies! and right at that moment, in my heart, i'm intentionally DISagreeing w/ God.

Question: If God IS LOVE, who can take it away from Him? If love is taken away from Him, then in that very moment HE's not God for HE IS LOVE. therefore i don't know why i've believed that HE doesn't love me. that's impossible. His being is love. All of Him is eternal, therefore all of His attributes(love, mercy, grace, patience, kindness, goodness, etc.) are eternal.

love=agreement

"I have declared to them Your name and will declare it, that the love with which you love me may be in them and I in them." John 17:26

This is Jesus praying. How much does the Father love the Son?
What would our lives look like if we loved Jesus the way the Father loves Him? HOLY COW!!

i don't know about anyone else, but i want the TRUTH to break in and i want to love(be in agreement) w/ God for who HE is. that means, yes, even the things that disturb my fleshly mind, i must agree w/ God.

HE IS GOD! HE has no beginning, no end, and is the "I AM". He IS EVERYTHING!! wow. this is such a HUGE revelation and it's so BIG i had to share it w/ ya'll.

please, please contemplate on this. HE HAS NO BEGINNING AND NO END!!! let this ruin you. let this transform your ideas of who God is. HE'S SO BIG.

Feel the weight of how low He had to go (become a man) and how High we have been raised.

Worship will be restored when we begin to exhault Him for WHO HE IS!! it's not about us, it's about His name.

so, here is a prayer that's burning on my heart.
God, raise us up! may we have passion for Your name. We want to go higher! We want to be in agreement w/ who you say you are. you are love. you are love. we want our hearts to be moved and transformed by the revelation of who you are. Unite our hearts to fear you. to come into the agreement w/ your truth, your very Word. You are Good. you can be nothing but good! thank you! thank you! we need your grace God. we love you!!!!

another question! haha how didn't Jesus blow up? He was the exact reflection and fulness of God who has no beginning and no end? what? haha it's messing me up!

enough of this crazy talk, haha i love it! we were in the prayer room from 8am-6pm today. I MADE IT! thanks for the prayers. and now i have to vamos to listen to the history of ihop cd's.

prayer requests:
continual fire to keep seeking out the truth of God
to know Him more and more daily
unity w/in our internship

i love you!!! be blessed! let me know how you're all doing!!
much love,
kel

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

I'm SOOOO SORRY!!!!

haha well, if you haven't noticed, i'm busy. majorly busy. i haven't forgotten about you peeps though.

i guess i don't know where to begin. God never stops amazing me every single day. He just keeps revealing more and more of His reality and truth to me. He's taking out the old and in w/the new. it's AWESOME!!!! He's showing me who He is and the true love that He has for me. That ushers me into wanting to be w/ Him more and knowing really who I am. This leads me into prayer, desperately longing for more of Him and to simply be w/ Him. as well as desiring this for all those i know and don't know. it's an amazing thing. We can ONLY love God, because He's loved us first. WOW!!

i've been going to services and they've been rocking my socks off as well. it's just so cool to hear the hearts of everyone here.

Before, I felt as if I was a 'needy' person, which i thought to be bad. well, God haulted my false thinking and showed me that's what He wants me to be. IN NEED OF HIM and ONLY HIM!!! i'm realizing that w/o Him, i'm nothing, i have nothing. that everything that i've ever wanted, it's found in Him. When you begin to touch this, NOTHING else can even begin to compare.

I've been getting really informed of the end times as well. it's awesome to have the 2 fold focus. intimacy w/ God as well as the reality of the time that we're living in. that we're not going to just be here forever and it'll all be 'okay'. Jesus is returning and He's coming back with a fiery love for His church. He'll do whatever it takes to get His inheritence (us) back from the evil deciever. Woof!!! it opens up the book of Revelations to me in a whole new perspective. God isn't an angry God and that's why He's going to allow such chaos. He's in love w/ us and because of that love, He's willing to get revenge!!! WOAH!!! haha it's pretty hard core isn't it?

as i go to bed every night my mind is racing and i say a lot of the times, "i just can't think right now". i've gotten so many 'nuggets of knowledge' from people. that's all good, but i want the true revelation from God and that's the hard part. 'cause for the 1st time, i don't have people right along side of me interpretting scriptures for me. God is like, here's some meat, chew on it! it's tough! but it's ohhhh so good. and the reward is so much better than being fed by someone else. it changes me through the hard, rough process. it's amazing.

all that said, i could probably keep going. but for all of our sanities, i'll stop. haha

i love you all!! and do really miss you. i've got a sweet collage that i made on my bed of pictures of all of you and i don't cease to pray for you and think of you.

i'm sorry if i haven't been able to talk w/ all of you individually. but i'm trying. i'm excited that i'm playing phone tag w/ about 3 of you! haha jordan, cara, maleah. we'll talk soon enough!!

one more thing...
we're entering into a 3 day long fast, so if you could be lifting up all of those here at the base up in prayer that would be greatly apprecitated!! the 1st 3 days of every month we shut down everything and refocus. remind ourselves why we're here and corporately go after God w/ all we've got. it's stretching and all together good for us. rock on!

my prayer for all of you is this, one of the most famous prayers here in the house.

Eph 1:17-19

"...that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe..."

be blessed my loves,
keldog